hopefully this week is not so stressful

so. pretty much got the grades the other day not so good

Honors Algebra 2 - A-  90%

Church  History - C+ 78%

English B  85 %

World History and Cultures - C+ 79%

Chemistry- A- 92%

Spanish 2 - B- 80%

pretty much church history and world history are high c+s so i can get them to a B- by the end of the year. no problem

spanish should be a A. but. some bad teacher doesnt teach anything. so. im doing worse. and i jus dont want math or chem to drop to a B+ . and my math grade is weighted at the end of the year too. so the higher math i have the better. cuz last semester i igot a B-

but whatever. 

today is alexs bday. i jus called him

and. 

since i did my research paper which is due thursday and my history project which is due next monday. i shoudlnt have to stress so much. except that i have a chem test tomorrow. and a crap load of homework. hopefully i can get my hands on someone else's chem packet. yea.

hmm .. what else..i dunno. i think im already falling out of the rap phase. oh

i should go

i ahve to go ssoon

late start!!!

atribecalledquest/gnarls barkley

yea some sorta old rap. and gnarls barkley ispretty cool. 

yesterday during the day i did nothing to chill. looked forward to malea coming. and then.... she couldnt come. so whatever. i cant force her to come. but anyways.  game was good. i dunno. it made me think about calling someone .which i probably will later today. 

and. then i got home and mom tells me that.. caitlins mom. has terminal cancer. and. yea i dunno. i jus cant imagine what caitlin or megan can be going through right now. but anyway. 

i think thats it. 

basically malea dissapointed me

and bad news. i dunno

so im out later

super emotional day

who cares about thursday

today. was pretty bad.

first quiz

but second was the  killer i think no not even. we had our project due. and the presentation went to crappy. it was unbelievable. 

so whatever.

thrid was alright

fourth thefrickin history poster baord was too small. that like at least 3 hrs of my life on thursday was all for NOTHING i was super pissed. super pissed.

whatever i went to 5th. and i kinda started taking my anger  out on people

6th jus pissed me off more. spanish is such a pain.

then we got out. and. i took my anger out on malea not on purpose and yea i had to leave cuz i carpool. and she wasnt talking to me. so we left each other on a bad note. so pretty much

i got home and i started working out cuz i do that when im pissed . and she calls me

and we talk it out. and i started crying but i dont think she knows.

so i talked to her for a long time. 

then what . i finished that dang poster board for history

now were talking.

and ugh

i dunno

she's kinda depressed and stuff cuz of family stuff. and she cuts. and. i saw it the other day. on her leg. and. i almost cried. like. i dont think. ive seen it so bad on someone before. like ive had friends before. like one line or something. but this was like 4 or 5 lines. and yea that isnt good. so were talking about it. and i want to be accoutable to her about this. so i asked her to call me when she thinks about it. but she doesnt want to be  a burden on me. so i dont know how many of the times shes gunna call me. and it really hurts me. it really does. 

so tomorow is game. 

and she is supposed to go

hopefully. God can really do something for her (suddenly got teary)

and .

that would be the most amazing thing. 

like. i have no words for how much that would mean to me. 

i def. need Him too. ive been really lackin in my Walk lately. and. i don tknow. i dont know what to do. i need game

oh and me and my friend were talking cuz we were both stressed and we talked about like how crazy were getting about comtemplating suicide and stuff.

i jus dont see a use for all of this school. 

and im really on the edge of giving up. 

but im not gunna kill myself dont worry.

i seriously need help now. 

and only God can do that for me. 

i need Him

im out later

rocketships and radios

lets start with ..tuesday.

the history test was open note/partner. and i still got a B-. pretty lame. his tests are so hard. 

uhh what else. tuesday i worked on my history project so i finished the writing part . which took me about 5hrs with the combination of multitasking. 

yea thats about it. i guess for tuesday

for yesterday.

school was alright. i guess. i dont even remember. haha

well i got home and worked on my...research paper cuz we did pier editing. and i had to paraphase more and write lead ins to the quotes. that took about an hr+

then we were supposed to read a tale of two cities which is pretty boring. but i skimmed my friends book and read sparknotes.  so i should be okay for the reading quiz today. and in spanish i have a like 50 question quiz. 

i got a two hr nap yesterday that felt really good.

after that me and dad tried to go get some 31 cent ice cream scoops. at..  baskin robins. 

yea and then 

we watched ghost hunters

and then malea

brought up the not seeing each other alot again

and it effects her alot. and she was pretty upset. 

but. i think its okay now. 

hmm music wise

im wanting something with a syn and a beat so for now its techno/powerpop stuff.

but i will be looking into some rap/r&b soon.

buti think thats it im off