withROOTSABOVEandbranchesbelow

been trying to listen to new tdwp . but ive been busy lately. ugh. so much homework this weekend. and MacArthur Park. and Korean BBQ last night for dads bday. i kinda missed not going to LHGH for the first time. ohwell. i just wanted to jump on here real fast for a short story.

so when my dad and i go to pick up the wraps at costco for MacArthur Park the ladyy there Teresa knows us now. and says a few words to us and goes on her way. because a job a costco must be busy. anyways. i thought it was a .. cool thing she said. i dont know. if cool is the right word for it but we will go with that. (im super tired) she said that me and my dad are going straight to heaven. hehe :]. thats cool that she said that but me and dad both agreed that thats up to God to decide :].

alright im out. way to tired.

Dream [Grandpa Granucci & Sekiguchi)

so i had an intense dream last night. and it felt so real that i remember it.

so the first thing i remember standing in a line. with my mom. and spencer and his parents and tyler and his parents. i get inside the place and all my family is there. like everyone i could ever imagine from my family. saying " He's alive" i walk through the crowd and find my grandma crying histerically and says to me "your grandpa is alive". and all i see is someone all bandaged up. so next thing i remember.

*warning weird scary part*
im in a house or something. and the flooring is gone on a part and im talking to someone but i dont remember who. and i fall with my feet down in the hole in the flooring and i kick something. and i see like rib cages. and i think that its my grandpa Sekiguchi and i apologize and run away fast.

next thing i remeber is being outside
im outside with malea and my mom. and were jus chillin. and i say to malea "i want you to meet someone" (because i know it would be weird to say that my grandpa that was dead) so i take her in. and i peek into the room and there are abuncha people in there and they tell me that he is sleeping. so i look to malea and say " we'll just wait a little bit" and then he wakes up. and before we walk i say to her "i want you to meet my grandpa". we walk in and. both my grandpas are there. and i go up to my grandpa Granucci first because he is closest to the door. they are sitting on a L shape couch. with my grandpa Granucci sittin on the part where the L meets. and my grandpa Sekiguchi on his left. so i walk up to my grandpa Granucci and say "i want you to meet someone". and i turn to malea behind me grab her hand and say "this is grandpa Granucci" and "grandpa this is malea" (i turn around and my grandpa Sekiguchi is walking away and i say wait grandpa you have to meet someone. so after introducing malea to my grandpa Granucci. i take her hand and introduce her to my grandpa Sekiguchi "grandpa this is malea" and "malea this is my grandpa Sekiguchi". i walk away from both of them talking and laughing with malea. i walk up to my cousin Claudia and say "I'm really happy they're back" and she replied "yea me too"

and then my dream ended.
so today i spent a good time of my day breaking down this dream. and maybe the significant meaning to it. because i believe that all dreams have meaning to them. and there is symbolism and what not. so heres what i came up with.

• simply i have no explanation for being in a line with spencer and tyler and their parents. and my mom.
• well when i walk in . seeing all my family. because we are a close family and that would be the only reason i could think of.
• seeing my grandma crying so much. because i know how much she misses him.
• for the weird part. the conclusion i came to. was that i think that i hurt him. i feel that way because i didnt see him for a few weeks and then he died. so it hurts me that i didnt see him before.
  
• the reason for malea to meet my grandpa because. in the dream i felt like my time was limited with them so i brought her as soon as possible. and because i feel like i need approval from them . for them to approve her. and that im missing that not having them here. because. her meeting them would be very important.
  
• when my grandpa Sekiguchi passed away. i felt a certain closeness with my cousin. and i guess the reason why she was in my dream because i know how much grandpa meant to her and me.

thats the best i can come up with.
for some reason this dream really sat in with me.
i really wish malea could have met them and laughed with them.
because they are a part of me.
even though they may not be with us today.

thats it.
im out

WEwillwearCOMPASSION

We will wear compassion
We will wear it
And the gates of Hell
They won't stand, they won't stand against it.

Gates by As Cities Burn

the as cities burn and the WeAreGiant albums came out and im loving both of them. ive been able to look into wearegiant more than acb. i like and dont like the acb sound i dont know. right now. this is looking like the worst album out of the three. oh well.
today is just wahtever
i dont want to go back to school tomorrow
oh well.
school sucks

today for some reason.
ive been looking at tattoos.
and yea im forsure gunna get one or two.
in the future.

we will see.

BENEATHTHIS,theLIGHTSLEEPS

so deep inside, those eyes i find myself.
and i, will catch my breath in the morning. not until everythings alright
and not until i know that shes fine.
without even sayin a word.
so deep inside, those eyes i find myself.
she saved me from that moment when i was lost and broken, disguised, where did she find me? (she'll never leave me alone).
she placed her wings upon my shoulders
(she'll never leave me alone).
ill save my breath till the morning, without even sayin a word, ill remind you of who i am.
beneath this the light will sleep until we breath.

beneath this, the light sleeps by WeAreGiant

i dunno. i think lately ive just been in a extremely low and lamee mood. ever since saturday ive been ..crap. i dunno just being so tired on saturday sucked. and then Sunday jus wasnt a good day.
and today i did absolutely nothing. so i dont know.

for a long time now. ive been wanting to see to write love on her arms tomorrow. id say probably over a month ago. and knowing Aimee i figured she would want to go and that i would be able to get a ride with her. so i let her know a long time ago. reminded her two weeks ago. and as far as i could see things were still good to go. so this saturday im like. aimee tuesday. shes like oh. its tuesday? .. so end of story she cant go. pretty dissapointed. today i txted pat in hopes of maybe getting a ride... uhh as far as i can see im getting no reply from pat. my dad said he would only take me if it was with my friends. but.. no one can really go since its a school night. so it looks like im out of luck.
the importance of going... means a lot to me. to write love on her arms has helped make me the person i am today. a more loving and caring person. and attentding tomorrow would make me smile beyond belief. i want to go so frickin bad. but it doesnt look like im going to be able to go.

what a lame way to end spring break.
back to school.
frick school.

i think part of me misses malea more than ever.
saturday i came home and got a massage by mom which lead me to fall asleep.
and then i couldnt hold a conversation wtih her on the phone which sucked.
then last night she stayed the nightt at her friends house so of course i didnt get a chance to talk to her.
i think.
im jus aching for her.
i miss her bad.

i just feel out of wackk.
and separated from everyone.

i dont know what else to say.
im out.

projectWAKEUP

Don't make me say this twice
You know I'm right,
It's time to, its time to wake up
I can't stress this enough
You stare at me like I don't care,
I just don't want to fall asleep to another nightmare
To another nightmare
Whatever helps you sleep
I don't have any intentions
Of spinning you from this direction
So live on and don't ask any questions
You say that everything's okay,
But is everything really okay?
I don't think that everything's okay
You stare at me like I don't care
I just don't want to fall asleep to another nightmare
To another nightmare
No, the revolution is now

this whole week has been a few nightmares with one really good dream.
it all started on Sunday.
ever since Sunday to Wed. we fought ever night about porn. till probably about 4. so from about 12am-4am we would fight.
during the day. would be nothing but akwardness.
thursday rolls around and we finally got a chance to chill out which made everything better.
thenn friday came and we fought about it again. keeping me up till 1am. even though i had to get up at 5am.
so i get up at 5am to go fishing. got a haircut then game . whatever. super tired last night jus went to sleep early.
and today shes out with her friends
so amount of talking done. pretty much none.
i dont know.
i jus want things to be like thursday.
im really broken inside.
it kills me.
probably more than it does her.
i dont know.
i just need to stop.
sigh.
alright i guess im done.

postSECRET.

so ive felt the need to post my SECRET.
even though by posting it it makes it not so much a secret.
but because only a few people know about this then again it kind of is.

I'm Losing Her
because
I Can't Jacking Off to Porn.

theUNEXPECTED.

originally i was gunna stop listening to screamo/hXc music for a little bit. but that didnt last long. i stumbled across i see stars. and i like the sound. kinda like attack attack! but they have a different sound than aa! the screams differ which is pretty cool.

i dont know what to be blogging lately.
not much going onn.

HE IS RISEN.

THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENS.

:]

short term mission?

i think im going to go on a short term mission
i feel God calling me.
Thailand is looking pretty good.