well. last night wasnt too good
i went to bible study and realized that i wasnt living my life for God. i was pretty much living it for malea.
so when i got home i called her and told her. and. i think like. i didnt expect that she would react the way she did. she started like blaming herself for it. when i tried to explain to her that its my responsibility its my walk with God. but. she insisted if it wasnt for her i would be in a better place. which lead her to thinking about braking up with me. because thinks that i deserve someone better than her. when im perfectly happy with her. and deeply care alot about her. and love her. but she thinks that i should i have somone better. but. i want her. and she doesnt understand how great of person she really is. that everyone has problems. and some people have more than others and i understand that she has alot of problems and thats why during these 3 months shes had alot of problems and ive stuck it out with her and kept holding her. i never let go. well... i talked to nicko. thanks. and then she called back later.
and she was still really unsure what to do. (not to mention how much crying i was doing because. i didnt see this coming) well. we go on. and we talk about how she wants to be closer to God. and. that. its a hard thing for her to try to become closer to him. she said she has to face alot of problems and things. and she was/is worried that i would give up on her. and i assured her that i would do everything i can to help her. and that i would never give up on her. she said that she would never give up on herself. so. thats good. so she came to the conclusion that we wouldnt brake up we would stick it out.
yea. but now im really worried that things could get worse really fast so i dont know. whats happening.
and i jus dont want it to be.. awkward . and yea.
i really do love her.
and. i wouldnt want to brake up with her.
and she says that she loves me.
im out later