fragility of life.

going online yesterday. i IMed what i thought to be as emily. and turned out being her friend gina. who says that she is looking for someone. and asked if i could help. and my response being.. sure i can help but i probably cant find who you are looking for.. im all the way in cali. and she says .. .is your name Ryan?... yes.. i have to tell you something... at that moment... my heart drops. and the only thing i can think of is that.. emily died. thank God. it wasnt that.. but infact she was in the hospital and that gina had found her at home...passed out and gina called 911. emily lost a lot of blood and.. that her heart might not fully recover from the amount of blood loss. but.. shes doing pretty good now....as far as i can tell. im just really scared.

me personally think that i take granted how fragile life is. not just for myself. for the people around me. and for that reason i believe that is why when we lose someone we love we sometimes want to blame someone.. which ends up being God. but what i have learned is that life is so fragile and each day that im here.. each second that i am here.. i have something to be grateful for. im not promised anytime here on earth and no one is.

today i have been extremely out of it and i think its because with the situation with emily.. it opened my eyes to seeing the fragility of life.

by the way i find it ... amazing that i subconciously wrote "opened my eyes".
God opened my eyes.